MIKEY SMITH: 7 unhinged Donald Trump Scotland moments as he moans nobody thanked him for Gaza aid

Donald Trump is still in Scotland, for some reason using it as a base to agree trade deals between the US and other countries.

But at least we're all paying millions of pounds to ensure he can do that - and play some golf - without any pesky protesters bothering him.

He welcomed Ursula Von der Leyen, the President of the European Commission, to his Scottish White House - and very rapidly agreed a trade deal with her. Like, in less than an hour.

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And he, obviously, had another rant about wind farms.

Here's everything you need to know about the happenings in Trump World: Scotland.

Buckle up.

1. He went golfing with a motorcade of 27 vehicles - including one very special one

back out on the course this morning for a chilly second morning of his golf holiday in Scotland.

He was seen on his Turnberry golf course in South Ayrshire, being transported between transported between holes in a motorcade of 26 golf carts plus one curious vehicle.

This thing appears to be an articulated, secret service golf buggy. Sort of a golf equivalent of the Beast.

It has reportedly been dubbed "Golf Force One".

His adult sons Eric and Don Jr were both with him on the course.

2. Some British fans came to see him at the golf course. And by some we mean three

There was no sign of anti-Trump protesters outside the golf course this morning - three British Trump fans were out on the hill next to Turnberry.

They wore Make America Great Again hats, waved small US flags and held a sign that read "Don't trust Starmer".

Trump waved and blew a kiss towards the fans before he took his shot.

Tom English, one of the group who had travelled from Blackburn, said: "I can't believe we're the only ones, to be fair. I thought there'd be more people."

Asked why he'd travelled so far to support the leader of another country, Mr English said: "I've just loved him from day one when he ran. I like the way he speaks, his personality, the comedy gold he comes out with.

"He had me at Rosie O'Donnell to be honest with you."

Ms O'Donnell has been the target of a long running campaign of abuse by Trump, who earlier this month threatened to revoke her citizenship.

"I've supported him all the way through. It's just because he'a not one of them, basically. He came in, said he's going to drain the swamp, end the deep state and that's what he's trying to do."

3. One Brit said he'd totally sussed out Trump's plan for the Epstein files

"I can see what's happening," said Tom English, who travelled from Blackburn to see Trump in the flesh.

He said he was not bothered by the scandal - here's why.

"If you follow Trump from day one, and you know how he works, and you've read his book, The Art of the Deal, and you know he's studied the art of war, then you can see the tactics he's using."

Asked what the tactics he's using are, Tom said: "The Dems don't want it releasing. You've got judges and people in congress who don't want the Epstein files releasing for years on end now.

"So he says, it's all fake. It's fake news. The Democrats are making it up.

"All of a sudden it's the Republicans that are blocking it and the Democrats are voting for it to be released."

Still with us? Good.

He went on: "Now what will happen is he'll order the MAGA lot to reverse the vote, and they'll be released...and Trump won't be in there.

"But his adversaries will. That's my prediction."

So, to recap, the whole of the last few weeks, where Trump has been pulling out all the stops to divert attention away from discussions about the Epstein files, has been a massive red herring.

It's a sneaky ruse to trick the Democrats into releasing the files - because it's only them who will actually be damaged by them.

This seems like a high risk strategy to us, especially considering the weight of evidence and reporting that contradicts every element of it.

4. He threatened to have Beyonce prosecuted

Trump posted a massively unhinged rant on Truth Social, during which he threatened to have Beyonce and Oprah Winfrey prosecuted over things that never happened.

It comes down to a baseless, evidence-free nonsense conspiracy theory posted online by people who made it up out of thin air, which claims Beyonce charged Kamala Harris $11m for her endorsement, and Oprah claimed £3m for expenses.

Trump wrote: "I'm looking at the large amount of money owed by the Democrats, after the Presidential Election, and the fact that they admit to paying, probably illegally, Eleven Million Dollars to singer Beyoncé for an ENDORSEMENT (she never sang, not one note, and left the stage to a booing and angry audience!), Three Million Dollars for "expenses," to Oprah, Six Hundred Thousand Dollars to very low rated TV "anchor," Al Sharpton (a total lightweight!), and others to be named for doing, absolutely NOTHING! These ridiculous fees were incorrectly stated in the books and records."

Not a word of the above sentence (and yes, it is one sentence) is true.

He went on: "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO PAY FOR AN ENDORSEMENT. IT IS TOTALLY ILLEGAL TO DO SO. Can you imagine what would happen if politicians started paying for people to endorse them. All hell would break out! Kamala, and all of those that received Endorsement money, BROKE THE LAW. They should all be prosecuted! Thank you for your attention to this matter."

Nobody did any of this. It was made up.

5. He moaned that he didn't get enough thanks for sending food to Gaza

Speaking ahead of his negotiations with Ursula Von der Leyen, Trump admitted he was "not in a good mood."

He fumed about America not getting more credit for sending humanitarian aid to Gaza.

"We gave $60 million two weeks ago and nobody even acknowledged it, for food," he said.

"And it's terrible. You know, you really at least want to have somebody say thankyou. No other country gave anything. We gave $60 million two weeks ago for food for Gaza and nobody acknowledged it."

He went on: "And nobody said 'Gee, thankyou very much'. And that would be nice, to have at least a thankyou."

6. In case anyone didn't know already, he explicitly gave away why he hates wind turbines so much

In his extended disco remix rant ahead of a relatively brief negotiation with Von der Leyon, Trump somehow managed to weave onto talking about wind farms. At length. Again.

But in case you were wondering why the subject was on his mind, he gave the game away: "Today, I'm playing the best course I think in the world. Turnberry.

"Even though I own it, it's probably the best course in the world.

"And I look over the horizon and I see 9 windmills at the end of the 18th. I say, isn't that a shame?"

7. He insists he didn't rush through the EU trade deal to distract from the Epstein scandal

We actually kind of believe him on this one. This seems to be a fairly natural reaction.